The Speech President Bush should give?

We all have our disagreements with President Bush. Immigration, U.S.

Attorney firings, Iraq, Darfur, etc. are all hot topics these days. The

following %26quot;speech%26quot; was written yesterday by an ordinary Maineiac. While

satirical in nature, all satire must have a basis in fact to be effective.

An excellent piece by a person who does not write for a living. Sent with

the author%26#039;s permission.

The speech George W. Bush SHOULD give:

Normally, I start these things out by saying %26quot;My Fellow Americans.%26quot;

Not doing it this time. If the polls are any indication, I don%26#039;t know who

more than half of you are anymore. I do know something terrible has

happened, and that you%26#039;re really not fellow Americans any longer.

I%26#039;ll cut right to the chase here: I quit. Now before anyone gets all in

a lather about me quitting to avoid impeachment, or to avoid prosecution

or something, let me assure you: there%26#039;s been no breaking of laws or

impeachable offenses in this office.

The reason I%26#039;m quitting is simple. I%26#039;m fed up with you people.

I%26#039;m fed up because you have no understanding of what%26#039;s really going

on in the world. Or of what%26#039;s going on in this once-great nation of ours. And

the majority of you are too damned lazy to do your homework and figure it

out. Let%26#039;s start local. You%26#039;ve been sold a bill of goods by politicians

and the news media. Polls show that the majority of you think the economy is

in the tank. And that%26#039;s despite record numbers of homeowners including record

numbers of MINORITY homeowners. And while we%26#039;re mentioning minorities,

I%26#039;ll point out that minority business ownership is at an all-time high. Our

unemployment rate is as low as it ever was during the Clinton

Administration. I%26#039;ve mentioned all those things before, but it doesn%26#039;t

seem to have sunk in.

Despite the shock to our economy of 9/11, the stock market has

rebounded to record levels and more Americans than ever are participating in these

markets. Meanwhile, all you can do is whine about gas prices, and most of

you are too damn stupid to realize that gas prices are high because

there%26#039;s increased demand in other parts of the world, and because a small handful

of noisy idiots are more worried about polar bears and beachfront property

than your economic security.

We face real threats in the world. Don%26#039;t give me this %26quot;blood for oil%26quot;

thing. If I was trading blood for oil I would%26#039;ve already seized Iraq%26#039;s oil

fields and let the rest of the country go to hell. And don%26#039;t give me this

%26#039;Bush Lied People Died%26#039; crap either. If I was the liar you morons take me

for, I could%26#039;ve easily had chemical weapons planted in Iraq so they could

be %26#039;discovered.%26#039; Instead, I owned up to the fact that the intelligence was

faulty. Let me remind you that the rest of the world thought Saddam had

the goods, same as me. Let me also remind you that regime change in Iraq was

official US policy before I came into office. Some guy named %26#039;Clinton%26#039;

established that policy. Bet you didn%26#039;t know that, did you?

You idiots need to understand that we face a unique enemy. Back

during the cold war, there were two major competing political and economic models

squaring off. We won that war, but we did so because fundamentally, the

Communists wanted to survive, just as we do. We were simply able to

outspend and out-tech them.

That%26#039;s not the case this time. The soldiers of our new enemy don%26#039;t

care if they survive. In fact, they w ant to die. That%26#039;d be fine, as long as

they weren%26#039;t also committed to taking as many of you with them as they can. But

they are. They want to kill you. And the bastards are all over the globe.

You should be grateful that they haven%26#039;t gotten any more of us here

in the United States since September 11. But you%26#039;re not. That%26#039;s because

you%26#039;ve got no idea how hard a small number of intelligence, military, law

enforcement and homeland security people have worked to make sure of that.

When this whole mess started, I warned you that this would be a long and

difficult fight. I%26#039;m disappointed how many of you people think a long and

difficult fight amounts to a single season of %26#039;Survivor%26#039;.

Instead, you%26#039;ve grown impatient. You%26#039;re incapable of seeing things

through the long lens of history, the way our enemies do. You think that

wars should last a few months, a few years, tops.

Making matters worse, you actively support those who help the enemy.

Every time you buy the New York Times, every time you send a donation to a

cut-and-run Democrat%26#039;s political campaign, well, dammit, you might just as

well Fedex a grenade launcher to a Jihadist. It amounts to the same thing.

In this day and age, it%26#039;s easy enough to find the truth. It%26#039;s all

over the Internet. It just isn%26#039;t on the pages of the New York Times or on NBC

News. But even if it were, I doubt you%26#039;d be any smarter. Most of you would

rather watch American Idol.

I could say more about your expectations that the government will

always be there to bail you out, even if you%26#039;re too stupid to leave a city that%26#039;s

below sea level and has a hurricane approaching. I could say more about

your insane belief that government, not your own wallet, is where the money

comes from. But I%26#039;ve come to the conclusion that were I to do so, it would sail

right over your heads.

So I quit. I%26#039;m going back to Crawford. I%26#039;ve got an energy-efficient

house down there (Al Gore could only dream) and the capability to be fully

self-sufficient. No one ever heard of Crawford before I got elected, and

as soon as I%26#039;m done here pretty much no one will ever hear of it again. Maybe

I%26#039;ll be lucky enough to die of old age before the last pillars of America fall.

Oh, and by the way, Cheney%26#039;s quitting too. That means Pelosi is your

new President. You asked for it. Watch what she does carefully, because I

still have a glimmer of hope that there%26#039;re just enough of you remaining who are

smart enough to turn this thing around in 2008.

So that%26#039;s it. God bless what%26#039;s left of America. Some of you know what I

mean.

The rest of you can kiss my butt.

--------------------------------------...

The Speech President Bush should give?interest rate

Yours is a bit different from the one I%26#039;d write if I was his speech writer. I%26#039;d help him apologize to the world for taking us back in time, creating so many enemies, making the rich richer and the poor poorer, for disrespecting our physical world, for not listening, for leaving us with a tremendous debt for the sake of his oil company friends and family, etc. etc. etc. And then I%26#039;d help him say that he%26#039;s especially sorry for helping to split us so far apart as a nation and as a people, making us believe we are so different from each other when we%26#039;re not.

The Speech President Bush should give? loan

I resign.|||blah blah blah|||The proper speech would be something to the effect of %26quot;I am issuing a copy of Machiavelli%26#039;s %26#039;The Prince%26#039; to all field officers in Iraq and Afghanistan. Effective immediately, the philosophy found therein will be official US policy towards the pacification of those countries. I have come to the conclusion that nothing I could do will ever please the Democrats, so instead of trying to do the impossible, I intend to do the possible: win this war in spite of them.%26quot;|||Let%26#039;s hope he quits regardless of the other B/S|||Oh well, as long as he%26#039;s leaving.|||Resignation Speech.|||I%26#039;d say Goodbye and Good Riddance, except I%26#039;d rather very much that he stay and sign the bill and start working on ending the Iraqi war instead of leaving it for the rest of us to clean it up. Or else some GW Bush MCIIVXX descendant will rouse us all up from the dead to go to another war with some stoopid What Say You? speech.|||this would be great if he would get up and do this, the speech is common sense and to the point. Truth hurts some.|||If only he really wrote it.|||I would have to respond with well thank you for making us feel like the idots we already are, we voted you in, you killed us, made us broke and better yet made us look like idots in every countrys eyes under the sun, and now you sit and tell us what idots we are so thank you for quitting, wish you would have done it sooner we might have had some dignity left|||I resign in favor of my dear friend Vice President Chaney.

He is the best and the only one that has the force of character to unite all the people in America, regardless of party, color of skin, level of education, if any, religion and economic status in our society, if any.

He is the man you want to take with you when hunting for truth, quail or high ideals. But, a respectful distance and stance seems proper -a bullet-proof vest wouldn%26#039;t hurt, either..|||%26quot;In vino veritas!%26quot; Mr. Bush had one too many toddies, as usual!